Expectations . . . Healthy or Harmful?
Expectations: Healthy or Harmful?
Typically, it is not the expectations of others alone, that cause us stress, frustration and anxiety. Instead it is our disempowering, limiting beliefs, associated with the expectations of others. What good is an expectation, whether it be our own or another’s expectation, if it is not healthy and if it is harming us and those closest to us? Want to read an insightful Poem about how expectations can be damaging, click here to read the HE SHOULD poem.
What often causes us stress, frustration and anxiety is . . .
(a) our belief that . . . we know the expectations of others (which may or may not even be accurate);
(b) our belief that . . . meeting or exceeding their expectations is important;
(c) our belief that . . . the approval of others is important;
(d) our belief that . . . we have not met or exceeded their expectations;
(e) our belief that . . . we do not have the approval of others and/or we have disappointed others; and
(f) our belief that . . . not satisfying or exceeding the expectations of others and disappointment of others is all about us, and that it’s not o.k. and it is important.
Next time you feel stress, frustration or anxiety, ask yourself these empowering questions:
- What is the expectation that is not being satisfied, that is causing this stress, frustration, and anxiety?
- Is it necessarily true that the person has the expectation that I believe they have?
- Is it necessarily true that the expectation must be fulfilled?
- Is the resulting action or non-action important to me?
- If no, then let it go at that point. If letting it go is a challenge, ask yourself why it’s a challenge to let it go, followed by the question, is that really important to me?
- If yes, is fulfilling the expecation more important than my health, in mind, body and spirit? If yes, is it possible that the expectation is really about the other person and not about me at all? Can I let it go or is it a challenge to let it go, followed by the question, is that really important to me?
Let go and live free from stress, frustration and anxiety, by changing your expectations, so that they are healthy not harmful.
